'I feel like we take one step forward and two steps back': Siberian kitty hesitant with new owners after only 3 weeks, they seek internet advice on how to make her feel loved and safe

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2025 5:00 PM EST

When getting a new pet, it can be intimidating to train him or her. No one can force an animal to love them, they can only treat them as best they can. Making the home feel safe is top priority, showing the animal love with pets and attention also help, but ultimately, the animal has a blueprint for their attachment and personality that training and nurturing can't always solve. 

The wholesome hooman in the story below struggles with her new Siberian cat. It's been three weeks, which is still early on. But the owner feels as though her cat should be more accustomed to spending time with her, snuggling her, and letting herself get picked up and pet. There's been some progress in that direction, but it's slow. The owner is at a loss; after trying desperately for her Siberian to love her, she goes to the internet to seek advice about her kitty's behavior. 

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    We've had our girl for 3 weeks now. She was born 3/31, so almost 7 months old and we are her first home. However, I'm
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    Cheezburger Image 10570981632
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    Cheezburger Image 10570980864
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    pretty sure the breeder didn't socialize her AT ALL. Even when I went to the cattery, both kittens
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    were super skittish and wouldn't allow me to touch them.
    via u/ToeZealousideal4578
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    When we brought her home, we kept her in a bathroom with the essentials for 3 days as
    via u/ToeZealousideal4578
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    recommended and sat in there with her as much as possible. On day 3 she did warm up a little, taking treats from me and laying
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    on the floor within eye sight (she would usually be in her hiding box).
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    As we opened up the house to her, she was very curious when the house was quiet, but any
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    human movement and she'd run back to her hiding places.
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    Cheezburger Image 10570979584
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    Now, she will come to us and let us pet her but picking her up or
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    even getting close to picking her up is an absolute no. She FREAKS out.
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    She chooses to hang out in the same room I'm in, but will only choose to lay next to me probably once every 2-3 days.
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    Sometimes it feels like we take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I feel like she's cuddly underneath
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    all that anxiety but I've NEVER had cat take this long to warm up.
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    If you have stories of your standoffish kitties become cuddle bugs later on I'd love to hear it for some encouragement.
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    Cheezburger Image 10570981120
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    DreCapitanoll⚫ 6h ago We brought home two boys at 6 months and they each started standoffish for
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    different reasons. One is very skittish and the other is extremely confident and silly but doesn't have a lot of
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    affection needs. The skittish one at probably around seven months suddenly started snuggling next to us
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    one day, and now in bed or on the couch he jumps up and nestles next to us and is a little purr machine while we pet him (he loathes
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    being picked up though). The other one is still a goofy bitch but he he tells us when he is prepared for scritches
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    by sprinting in front of us and flopping over, and weirdly he's actually okay being carried around.
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    zoeeyyglass 2h ago I've got mine at 6 months! She was well socialised but it took her at least a year+ to get more cuddly with us.
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    The first months she would just army crawl every time we tried to pet her and she would not hide but stay on
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    her own in a corner. Now she's much more affectionate, sleep with us and occasionally lies on us.
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    Not the lap cat I dreamt of but she's loving in her own way! Really nothing else but time I fear Oh and she also still hates being picked up,
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    but some cats are like that so I try to avoid it unless necessary. She won't freak but she will meow complaints lol.
    via u/zoeeyyglass

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